Grace

I had a client last week who shared the most delightful story of “Grace”. She had been feeling particularly stressed and (as is typical of most of us who are mothers), ended up “losing it” with her 10 year old and yelling at him. Her husband returned home and heard his wife shouting. He came in and sat with the now distraught child, while my client said that she went to her room to calm down. When her husband came into the room, she fully expected him to berate her for losing her temper. Instead he walked up to her, put his arms around her, and simply asked “Are you OK?”. She said that it completely took her by surprise, and the “defense” that she had been preparing was lost. She was able to look at herself and apologise for her inappropriate rage rather than being defensive. Her husband gave her the Grace and Space to do that.

In their book “Slowing Down to the Speed of Life”, Richard Carlson & Joseph Bailey say that “if you forgive others [show Grace] and then share with them your feelings, they will be more likely to listen to you non-defensively. If you confront others with judgement, they will most likely get defensive, not be able to hear you, and even find something to blame you for. This keeps the cycle going: blame-resentment-defensiveness-transgression”.

Make it your aim to show Grace this week:-)

(Liz Witherspoon – Life & Wellness Coach)